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Saturday, July 23, 2011

My Business Card!

“Young leader”, “Strategy Consultants”, “Associate Vice President”, “Corporate Planner”, my oh my there go some of the titles I have been seeing on the linkedin update page.

There is something in a name, isn’t it? When you say you deal with strategy and corporate planning it is quite a kick in the other persons nuts by your leg. What you would do there is maybe some corporate ass kissing and some goggling to make fancy presentations and word documents.(I think goggles is in fact responsible to most of consultants /analysts bread and butter, god know what will happen to them if Google shuts down.)

I am not better, in fact I am worse. I actually went a step ahead; I created my own designation and business card (and submitted the bill!); Business planning & Development. What do I do, in business planning, is basically shoot a lot of mails and based on some gut fell call,sweet talk and if  I get lucky get some time to go and beg. The silver lining is that in this industry you wouldn’t get slammed on your face, because unlike a bank trying to palm you a credit card you don’t need, the counter party in my case actually needs someone to make them what we make. And in business development, I beg (with style of course but if you drill it down to the basest sentiment begging would perhaps be apt one!)

Also another silver lining is that in this line, cards or designations don’t really matter. You do, your personality does and your capability to build a relationship. At the risk of sounding boastful, and adding to the obnoxious cloud of narcissism I carry on my shoulders, I do share here my MD remarks” you are right, that account was lying in the coffin, ready to be buried now it with your effort it is back and kicking”.(Sir you just wait, and see who kicks what, I am not a dog to be loyal, I am prostitute who strips at the highest bidders command, and yes I am loyal to the bidder I strip to !!)

Also in business development, I have seen that it is actually luck; you just have to persistent, develop a thick skin, suck in your gut and move on.

In fact all the fancy load of toosh of being passionate about your work is just that; toosh. If you are passionate, you would expect results, you would expect winning all the time, if you don’t win all the time(you just cant win all the time!),you will feel dejected no matter how optimistic you are. So your life would be something akin to a sinusoidal curve that is borderline bipolarity.

However consider the alternate, which is dispassionate work. That is you work but with no heart, only head and all head. When the outcome comes and if it is good you won’t be extremely happy and if it is bad you wouldn’t be sad either. That is your life would be a constant function with a defined amplitude; that is Y=K and the constant K depends on you.

If you in fact read very carefully the above is what exactly Bhagwad Gita says. In fact now I see that all the fancy theories of management being pedaled today are actually a part of our good and prolific religion.

PS- Next on line is the Vedic equivalent of Maslows Heirachy of Needs.