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Saturday, May 28, 2011

Sex..........Age.........and Blood

When you eat something bad, you only realize it when you have gastronomic issues after some time. This time varies depending on your metabolism and the level of shit you unknowingly ingested. However the trouble you face is after a time lag, normally a day to 2 and the extent of trouble is directly proportional to the fun/ enjoyment you had. What I am saying is that you get the worst hangover, at the most inappropriate time, albeit after the best party.(isn't that the premise of the series of the cine flick, "The Hangover"

Now I am reminded of this after about a week of my recent one day visit to Chennai. My uncle had come down for a commiserating the loss of a loved one, and so had my kid sister with her. Having been in Bangalore for 7 months without seeing anybody closely my blood, I was at the level of diminishing utility of life. I called my uncle and on the spur decided to go and visit, although the situation was not really a joyous event. But I miss the company of my kid sister V...(Click Here..)

Their house had a bad feeling about itself, I could feel it the instant I walked in. What are supposed to say to an 80 year old grandmother who just lost her 84 year old husband?

I just sat there

Thankfully that moment was pretty brief, grandmother wasn't really feeling well, so she was ushered internally somewhere, and my uncle right on cue moved me to the top floor of the house that had more life.

My sister came in and without saying a word she walked to me, and sat down on my lap, her slender fingers clasping my hand. She doesn’t speak a lot and she speaks pretty softly, but now she just sat silent.

I asked her why she was here.

A smile and sad reply….

I marveled at my aunt who had done such a fine job of bringing her up.

I was pretty tired, having been up all day and traveling all night. I excused myself and was soon enough feeling the chillness of water on me (I had put some ice cubes in water; their overhead tank had fired up like a heater!). As I felt the chillness of water trickling all over me, a thought fired on.

Why is it that some kids are always good to talk to? On a generic note why is that some people are always good to hang around with? Is it blood line? Or is it a super-set of that particular subset.

There has to be causality to it, my rational mind could not work without a linear relationship and I was suddenly reminded of Philip Phulman and Northern Lights.(There is a movie on this as well , I misremember the name..)

According to him there are some universes that have souls of humans who exist outside of their body. Soul is rather a very heavy word to use, rather consider it as their essence which reacts and adapts to their moods and is visible in some manner outside of their bodies, rather than inside as in case of us homosapiens on planet Earth

This thing is called as a daemon.

And it is normally opposite to the sex of the owner and it is generally an animal that indicates the personality of the owner. Warrior kinds would have a lion as their daemon, workers as rats and mice, pretty females as birds and so on and so forth. Now these daemons react to their owner’s thoughts, sometimes before and sometimes after the thought has occurred, but rarely on cue, there is always a time lag. But the particular thing is that they can change their shape, depending on the intensity of the thought. For instance; if I have a say a leopard as my daemon and I am suddenly feeling very calm, my leopard my change into a harmless dog. This ability to change shapes however diminishes with age and as given in the book it completely ceases at puberty.

Ahh…good thought……..

So I tried to draw parallels while working the lather under my arm.

Based on my past experiences and interactions I see that young females are normally good company. They are well, true and straight. Their daemon shows clearly in their actions. So to control them and to understand them you need logic not discipline.

However with the same it seems is not true with young boys. Thus it implies to me that young boys augur well to disciple as mean of a regulating factor while younger girls to logic. If you reverse the regulating factors you end up with, lets say contrarians (non conformal is overused).Gay men, and Poonam Pandey type females.

However there is always a balance in life.

With passing age, the delight of feminine company slowly diminishes. I guess it must be to compensate for their good times earlier. (it is some not all........linearity has its own Black Swans!!). If I consider maturity as the yardstick a la Phulman type; females become more adept at concealing and layering their thoughts and actions with advancing age. To use another philosophical allegory” Their souls become dirtied with their sins”. Hence their daemon becomes opaque unreadable and an absolute nightmare to be with. On the flip side souls with sin are easy to manipulate.

Men on the other hand go the reverse way.

The lather was now being washed under the stream of lukewarm water, the ice cubes had vanished.

Hence there must be 3 filters gender, age and blood. The delight of company is in direct causal relationship with these filters. No particular precedence of any one neither any particular dominance. But to me it seems that it is always vice versa. I guess that is why young nubile females seem to prefer the company of older bald and paunchy men.

I was done with act of cleaning all the dirt on my body but my clothes needed attention. I had just one set on me.

Hence it may explain whose company that may delight you. Turn back and identify the good times you had, the company of people you enjoyed. Employ the above filters, and gauge if it is causal.

If so, is it linear?

And if it is causal and linear…………..plan future interactions accordingly.

And yeah, if all goes off well in current as well as future state get dark chocolate and thank me while you eat it!!

On a devilish note try and do it for bad ones first , the subsequent delight may be sweeter!

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Weekend Diaries_Evil Policeman !!

It has been quite a long time I am scribbling this actually. 

It must be the normal curve effect, anything and everything eventually dies down and you end up somewhere in the 96 % quartile range. Try as you might, you can run but you can’t hide away from it. You can tweak the frequency and the amplitude but you can’t kill it.

This in fact was what Sirjee was telling me a couple of days back.He said"An year after MBA, I am nowhere , close to getting clarity in life.I am as confused as I was before, however I am more matured and much more wiser."
Sirjee, " You realize that you are slightly less confused than others, because you at least realize that you don't have clarity"

A pause, and then" Indeed Srikant............... indeed".(It takes balls and foresight to say "No" to an offer that is huge(not big, but huge) in financial as well as snob scales...and Sirjee has them)

Saturday morning I did not wake up, because I did not really sleep. Late night was making some cost model for a new project, that is the only way I could avoid going to office.I am no longer taken by the terms” an hours work, maybe 2”.Whenever that happens, it turns into almost 3 quarters of the day gone.

I mailed at 2 am, now that ensured that I don’t get called to office, but also left me fidgety and sleep deprived.

I met up with a friend of mine (female) this weekend. The idea was to just say hi and mall around, and perhaps shop.


Boy-o-boy, I deduced, it is both a noun and a verb.

By purist standards it really isn’t a noun. However if you apply the filter of gender then it becomes one……………………….. from the male perspective.

For instance, consider me as a causal indicator. I can’t shop, I don’t know how to, I can’t be bothered with it. Whatever I wear are either gifts, or what my mother or aunt deem fit for me to wear and they know or have understood what I will wear and what I wont

But for females, it is bliss to shop, and funnily they seem to have a marked penchant for footwear shopping the high heeled ones in particular. It is actually very insightful that they are able to walk into a store and select all the colors, textures, sizes and finish combination that are never ever available with the shop.

Devil and wit of flame have a funny way of lighting up.

I wanted to buy a t-shirt. I walked into one store and asked my friend to pick one for me; this is how it went

She: Some jazzy green color …………..  
Me: What I can’t wear raunchy color shades

She: Light pink……..
Me: Now look there I think you know I am not gay

She: Muted brown …………
Me: I am yet to get married and there you are picking me grandfather color clothes

She: Red …………
Me: this one is reminiscent of Pakeezah , btw any of those there in Banglore?

This seems to be the last straw. She put them all down, and picked a white T-shirt with some muted stripes, and I nodded.

“What is the fun ………if it is all white that you want to wear?  Don’t you like colors in your attire?”

“White is a powerful color and so is black. And I normally wear them both”.

“That may explain why you’re kind of on the bi-polar side. You swing from one end to the other, euphoria or gloom; it is magnified in your case". You are ….”she paused and said,”Elastic”.(Click Here...)

I laughed out again. She was good with words, and pretty adept at being deferential and scathing at the same time.

She smiled back; “Take this one, if that is what you want”.

I beckoned the attendant, and then I realized that I could get another free with that. I asked him to get a same piece.

“Are you, going to wear 2 white t shirts? She asked trifle surprised.

“I am going to wear neither, these I going to gift”…

“And for you…..”

I changed my mind.

Shaking her head, at my elastic behavior she walked away to the exit.

I paid and made out, only to be greeted by the smell of filter coffee.

So we sat down at MTRs, the smell there is very Satvic. And hunger dear is very smell dependent. I ordered in Tamil and as usual the way I speak is kind of weird so service is good.

One masala dosa, one vada and couple of jalebis later we were both sipping coffee.

MTRs in that mall had an open air section as well. I could discern a couple with a kid diagonally opposite to us loaded with bags. The mother was trying to feed the kid some tidbits from her plate but it seems the kid was in mood for colic. It (gender unknown, hence the noun description!), and was bawling its gut out.

I was trifle surprised and averted my eyes away, I had shades on, and so the mother did not realize that I was observing them.

We were done with the coffee and my friend had to leave. She normally turns into a maid, and her car into a pumpkin, well before evening.

We were making our way out, but I was curious as to why the mother had pointed at me for. Incidentally at the billing counter again, we saw them purchasing some sweets.

“I saw you pointing towards me while we were eating, is something amiss” I asked very politely. (That is verbatim)

The mother seems slightly embarrassed at my query, “ She…”,  pointing at the unusually silent kid “Was troubling a lot, and I just pointed towards you and said, if you trouble more, the police uncle sitting with the black shades will put you into prison.”

Hahahahahahah !! , I roared in laughter.

My friend also smiled, and said “Actually you look very frightening with those on”.

“What makes you think I am not”?

“You are not”, she said with finality.

Meanwhile the couple made a hasty exit not wanting to have any more conversation a purported evil policeman, who thankfully had their kid silent.

PS- I came back and took a self snap!! , evil is too powerful to be ignored :)